Office Mate by Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen |Book Brief

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  1

  mcarbone

  04/24/08 | Report as spam

  Office Dating - Seems Selfish On All Levels

  Morals and Ethics are actually on the rise in America. This book seems to be taking a step back in progress and more of a gimick to sell books. No study shows that it is a good thing. Taking her own research numbers, 2/3's of all office romances lead to no marriage. That's a 66% failure rate because of the pain the break-up leaves behind and the disruption to the company, department, and/or team involved.
  
  I vote that Stephanie Losee pulled a fast one on us. Take something that is proven and known by all from scientific proof to basic common sense not to work, office romances, and put a spin on it and say wait, it's good for us.
  
  Another fact from her book, 40% of americans work 50+ hours a week seems to be the cause of her statement that we work so much how can we find romance - people putting work over family. Work less hours and get a life so you don't have to troll for co-workers to date.
  
  Sometimes finding your love at work is OK, but it's the exception, not the norm. This book is disrespectful to our youth who has very little direction these days.

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  bdwiz

  04/25/08 | Report as spam

  Moral superiority more damanging than failed romances

  Judging from mcarbone's reply, it's not "Morals and Ethics [that]are actually on the rise in America", but moral superiority.
  
  Office romances are commonplace, and in many cases actually enhance productivity and employee satisfaction - to the benefit of all employees, not just those involved. While a failed romance can impact working relationships temporarilly, I personally have found most staff recover quickly.... more so than other issues they staff may have such as depression, substance abuse, etc.
  
  To say that office romances are "proven and known by all from scientific proof to basic common sense not to work" is absolute rubbish and smacks not just of moral superiority, but of the kind of unsubstatiated-arguments-presented-as-fact "I know best" type of attitude that really does undermine employee satisfaction and workplace efficiency.
  
  mcarbone's passive-aggressive approach has no place in the workforce, and if he/she reported to me, it would not be for long.
  
  I wouldn't have thought this book was needed, but mcarbone's reply has shown that the book has an important role in educating people with very traditional and narrow points of view.

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  3

  mazor04705967g

  04/24/08 | Report as spam

  RE: Office Mate by Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen |Book Brief

  I sincerely believe that the "should" is too emphatic and telling that this would be the "ideal" scenario. We all know there is no such thing as an ideal mate. Furthermore, there is a complete disregard for the element of choice and free will here. What is this? Another version of arranged coupling with the office walls being the "entremetteur"? Nonsensical.
  There is also often the illusion of sharing common grounds. In the end, partners do not share outlooks in general but only common practical knowledge, territorial and temporal situations together thinking that these "common grounds" are good enough a foundation upon which to build matrimonial relationships. I am interested to see how couples who did think in terms of "working together = living together" would fare along the road.
  Cheers
  Patrick L'Espoir Decosta

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  dzimmer821

  04/25/08 | Report as spam

  working together

  I fully support the idea that working together is a good prerequisite for marriage. You are able to see how he deals with emotions and situstions that occur at work.I don't think most people are good enough actors to be "nice" all the time. My husband and I are celebrating our 32nd anniverssy in May. We met on our first nursing job and married 10 months lster.We took a new job that same year and worked together four years in the operating room. After five years of nursing we had developed interests in differt typs of nursing and so we were no longer togethr at work but we decided to buy houses and fix them up. After work we would eat then go work together on the house.It was hard work but we had great times together and the extra money from the sales was nice since we have 3 kids. They would come with us to the houses and had fun exploring the "new neighborhood in search of a playground.So, my advice would be working with someone is a better way to find a partner than bars or on line. Of cours 30+ years ago those things weeren't really an option.

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  5

  zdeltz

  09/04/08 | Report as spam

  RE: Office Mate by Stephanie Losee and Helaine Olen |Book Brief

  bdwiz what is this moral superiority you speak of? Do you honestly believe getting in a relationship with your supervisor is okay? Mcabone is right, having a relationship in a work place is an exception not the norm, it's not something you just "try out". bdwiz you are a moron who doesn't know what moral superiority means.
  
  The fact that you believe in having relationships with your co-workers "improves workplace efficiency", just proves how much of a gullible idiot you are.
  
  bdwiz you're kind is not needed in the workforce or anywhere else for that matter. What's really on the rise is people with despicable views such as yourself. IMO I think that's whats wrong with this country today, people like you. My advice is you need to brush up on common sense, logic, and what you see as "morally right", because this book is wrong in so many ways.