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How to start networking| Dodging Landmines

By finding people you genuinely like and treating them with kindness, you've already started to network. Don't wait until you need something—people will know you're fishing. Starla Sireno, executive coach at Fearlessness Inc., gives tips for nervous networkers: be real, don't think about what it is you need, and treat others as you want to be treated.

Speaker: Starla Sireno, Trainer and Executive Coach, Fearlessness Inc.

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Tags: Dodging Landmines, networking, office politics, career

 
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    1

    ssireno

    11/24/08 | Report as spam

    RE: How to start networking

    Hi everyone, this is Starla.

    There is a Japanese proverb that goes, "None of us is as smart as all of us." In today's crazy economy, no one can do it alone. Everyone needs a network for support, ideas, connections and feedback.

    There was one thing I wanted to get across in this video and that is that networking is nothing more than connecting to another person. It doesn't have to be fake, salesy or pushy. Anyone who is doing that is missing the point.

    In reality, there are 3 steps to networking: Step 1: Connect
    Step 2: Give
    Step 3: Ask

    Am happy to answer questions, so bring them on.

    Starla

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    2

    IggyPin

    12/04/08 | Report as spam

    RE: How to start networking

    Hi Starla

    I really enjoyed your video and it's right on the money. I've written an article I'd like to share/give (step 2) that provides guidance on how to network online: http://connecthoughts.blogspot.com/2008/10/4-ps-of-online-networking.html

    Cheers, Iggy

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    3

    LuigiLoPresti

    12/04/08 | Report as spam

    RE: How to start networking

    Hi Starla. I have a bit of nuanced take on this. In your interview you said: "No one can do anything alone"....hmmm. That got me thinking about the nature of social politics in business settings. As an Executive, I'm not sure I want to go out networking signaling that "I'm not capable of doing this alone". Actually it's the exact opposite sentiment-(though not too severe expression thereof) that makes for a successful and ultimately stable business personality. Being able to "hold your own" in a room of smart folks without becoming a sycophant or salesperson is what inspires people to come over and say "Hi, my name is..." Often times a bond is created that is antithetical to the shallow hob-nobbing and hand-jerking that is going on around you. Holding a conversation built on the merits of original self-derived insights, and authentic inspiration, NOT on what other people say, certainly not on regurgitating what the party-line is-makes for a unique personality whom might actually have something to offer your organization or project. Moreover-a person who is LESS keen on meeting everyone, and more keen on meeting the RIGHT people has a good measure of self-confidence that signals to others.."I don't NEED you, but we might have some interesting things in common." Let's chat and see where we end up. Thoughts?

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    4

    ubergnome

    12/05/08 | Report as spam

    RE: How to start networking

    I have to agree with LuigiLoPresti as this is my tactics. Or at least a hybrid of the video presented and LuigiLoPresti comments. My director usually stands out with the witty jokes, and political maneuvering. But in the organization, even my director agrees that I am the "go to" guy. I go to the dinners and conferences and basically say hello to everyone, but that's it. Usually they come to me and ask what's been going on, or "Hey by the way I wanted to ask you"...or "Maybe you can answer this". I think I perfer this cause it shows marketability and drive versus political rhetoric.

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    5

    ssireno

    01/07/09 | Report as spam

    RE: How to start networking

    LuigiLoPresti and Ubergnome (nice names),

    Thanks to both of you for your comments - I couldn't agree more. Two thoughts:

    1. Networking is nothing more than AUTHENTICALLY connecting. Not fake, not pushy, not salesy, not shallow. Who has tolerance for that? To build real connections, you have to care about what you're doing or talking about. Use your own natural skills to connect. If you're the natural "go-to guy" because people value your opinion and your knowledge, then show up exactly as that person. Bottomline is that people get hung-up on the term "networking" like it's some sort of thing removed from who we are. It's not. It's just showing up as yourself and making REAL connections. If you're not connecting with people at an event, maybe it's a sign that it's not the right place for you.

    2. Executive, entrepreneur or lowly minion. It doesn't matter, you still can't do it alone. It's not a sign of weakness. You'll be a better leader if you get people's buy-in and that means connecting and listening to them.

    Thanks guys, hope to hear more from you.

    Starla
    www.FearlessnessInc.com (website)
    www.FearlessEdge.com (blog)

    authentic." Whether we're talking about managing a team of people or If you are yourself in all of your dealings If you're naturally the life of the party and thatSoundbites don't always get a

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How to start networking| Dodging Landmines

By finding people you genuinely like and treating them with kindness, you've already started to network. Don't wait until you need something—people will know you're fishing. Starla Sireno, executive coach at Fearlessness Inc., gives tips for nervous networkers: be real, don't think about what it is you need, and treat others as you want to be treated.

Sydnie Kohara: People always seem to be talking about networking. I need to go here. I need to network with this person, but I really don't see how it can get me ahead in my job. Why do I need to dot his?

Starla Sireno: The fact is, that we cannot succeed alone. You can't do anything alone. Networking is nothing more than relationships. It's nothing more than making connections with other people and the better you treat other people, the more likely they will be to help you.

Sydnie Kohara: What is the most common mistake when it comes to networking?

Starla Sireno: Waiting until you need something. So the most common way I see this is someone needs a job and all of the sudden they're thinking about networking. And people know that. People know that you're just out there fishing for what you can do for them, intead of building a foundation of trust and a real relationship.

Sydnie Kohara: So what is the best way to start networking?

Starla Sireno: I have three rules for networking. The first is be real, just be yourself and connect with people who you really like. The second is don't be thinking about what you are going to be getting out of it and the third is just the golden rule. Treat others the way that you want to be treated.

Sydnie Kohara: In summary?

Starla Sireno: In summary, networking is just about connecting and treating people the way that you want to be treated. And the more you help other people the more they'll be willing to help you when you need it.