Listening Well |Leila's House of Corrections

Many of us complain that people don t listen to us! Is it time to look in the mirror? If you want to succeed as manager and leader, exceptional listening skills are mandatory. So, Come on managers, it s time to learn to listen well.

Hearing is what your ears do. Listening is what your mind does. This is a key distinction that many of us fail to remember when we have an employee, a peer, or a customer speaking to us about a concern. Don t interrupt isn t the only behavior you need to brush up on. Here are some more.

Tip 1: Make eye contact.

It s very difficult to listen while typing, watching the traffic from your office window, or checking out videos on YouTube. You need to make eye contact with whomever is talking to you. That means you look in their eyes and hold not lock--their gaze.

Tip 2: Sit still.

How is your body reacting when you are listening? Are you spinning in your chair, flipping a pen around, nodding your head excessively? None of those ticks indicate that you are interested and willing to listen. Therefore, sit still, hands relaxed, nervous legs turned off. And while you do want to indicate you are open to thoughts, too much head nodding and uh-huh, yeah, yeah, got it, got it sends the message that you don t have a lot of time. So, listen with your eyes and a relaxed posture.

Tip 3: Ask for more information.

Once someone has stopped talking, a great listener asks for more data. For example, Tell me more about your first point or I want to understand your opinion. Please give me more information. The hardest part of being a good listener is not thinking about what to say as someone is speaking. Ask for details.

Tip 4: Make sure you got it right.

Remember the distinction between your ears and your mind. Now you need to ensure your mind grasped the salient points. Say something like, I believe you are worried about the budget. Is that correct? or I want to make I understand, so let me repeat back I believe you said . . . In essence, you are asking for confirmation that what your ears heard is what the speaker wanted your mind to know.

Think of your friends and peers whom you d call good listeners. They establish and build rapport well, they work well in teams, they attack issues and not people, and hmm, they don t do a lot of talking. So, ears open, mouth closed.

As you master your listening skills, you ll soon see that team members and peers will be more likely to share thoughts with you. This leads to your being perceived as a strategic advisor, not just a great manager.