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Saying No |Leila's House of Corrections

Why do so many of us struggle to say no? We want to please everyone but then we wind up overwhelmed and overworked. Consider these 3 tips for refusing with confidence--providing context, avoiding emotion, and recommending alternatives.

If you have questions or suggestions for future video topics, Leila wants to hear from you.

Speaker: Leila Bulling Towne, Executive Coach, The Bulling Towne Group

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Tags: Video, Corporate Communications, Marketing, Video, Corporate Communications, Marketing, business, managing, no, prioritizing, Leila's House of Corrections, overworked, overwhelmed, refusing, confidence

 
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    aidach

    10/31/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Saying No | Leila's House of Corrections

    Hi Leila,
    Must say there's nothing really new in your little video, but I have a comment. STOP POINTING AT PEOPLE. There are a number of good and bad body language books out in the market place that YOU should read. Pointing is Threatening and you open you little show with pointing at people.
    40 odd years of training people all over the world and I can assure you that the open hand gesture is far more convincing.
    Enjoy,

    Tonyach

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    2

    DEEPINDER

    11/10/08 | Report as spam

    RE: Saying No | Leila's House of Corrections

    IN ANY BUSINESS REALTION THERE ARE ALWAYS EMOTIONS ATTACHED AND IT IS DIFFICULT TO SAY NO. REASON BEING THE PERSON WANTS TO AVOID HURTING OF SENTIMENTS OR UPSET SOMEONE. DEALING WITH DIFFERENT CULTURES, I HAVE OBSERVED THAT JAPANESE HAVE LERANT THE ART OF NOT SAYING NO ON THE FACE BUT WILL CERTAINLY COMMUNICATE NO IN THIER MESSAGE. COULD YOU PLEASE SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE/ THOUGHTS.

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Saying No |Leila's House of Corrections

Why do so many of us struggle to say no? We want to please everyone but then we wind up overwhelmed and overworked. Consider these 3 tips for refusing with confidence--providing context, avoiding emotion, and recommending alternatives.

If you have questions or suggestions for future video topics, Leila wants to hear from you.

Do you struggle with saying no? It s human nature to want to please others, so saying no can be burdensome for many of us. Doing it gracefully and firmly is crucial to your success, so . . .

Come on managers, it s time to learn to say no.

Why do many of us struggle to say no? Because we want to be liked; we want to satisfy people. Being firm and direct with our answers seems contrary to that.

Before we know it, we have too many projects on our plates, too much work. However, whether it is saying no to taking on additional work, changes to resource allocation, or dealing with several employees who wish to take vacation at the same time, it is possible to say no with confidence and ease. Here are some steps.

Tip 1: Provide the context.

Be strategic about it. Why are you saying no? Explain how your opposition affects a project, team, or monthly revenue. Very few people want the whole story, so give only top-level details. State your reasons and be quiet; wait for reactions or questions.

Tip 2: Avoid emotion.

Say no with as little feeling as possible. It s business, not personal. Adding emotions to the picture will make it harder for you and your point of view to be taken seriously. Avoiding shaking your head excessively, rolling your eyes, and sighing heavily, all the non-verbal signs you can exhibit freely when among friends and family. Never say, You re wrong, you re misled, that s foolish, that s ridiculous. That brings the personal into the picture.

Tip 3: Provide alternatives.

If you can t give someone the answer he wants, be ready to provide a solid alternative. This is especially crucial when arguing with your manager or another person above you. If you say no to them, they probably will say, OK, then, what do you recommend instead? Be prepared for the 2nd course of action the one you wish to purse.

Saying no decisively takes practice. The more comfortable you appear when saying no, the more convincing you will be and the less people will resist.